Only 45 days left

I'm more than halfway through the two week wait. Fertility friend says I ovulated 8 days ago, YAY!!!
I've been trying to get my Christmas shopping finished. Only 45 days left! I've only got a few left to get, M being one of them. He wants a 9mm pistol and he works so hard and hardly ever buys anything for himself, I'm really going to try to get him the gun for Christmas. I'm also on the lookout for a good deal on a children's bicycle for one of the little boys I watch, Stone. He's 7 and really wants a bike for Christmas. I bought his sister, Elizabeth, a coat for Christmas but gave it to her early since the weather set in pretty cold. I need to get her something to have under the tree to open so she doesn't feel left out. Any suggestions for a 12 year old girl?
M keeps asking what I want. Truthfully, anything at all would be just fine. I don't think I'm a hard person to buy for. My heart's desire is to have a child of my own, and I try so hard during the holidays to put up a strong front and do all the family/kids/holiday/fun stuff. It starts about Halloween, seeing all the little ones trick-or-treating. This year we took our nephews out and had a pretty good time. But then when we get home all their excitement about the evening is directed at showing Mommy what they got or telling Daddy about the different costumes they saw. M and I are left standing aside, feeling empty again. Thanksgiving isn't too bad, we go out to eat, shop, and then the little ones come by to have dessert with us. Christmas is hard. I don't want to decorate, make cookies, bother with the tree. But I do. I do because my nephews, and Elizabeth, and Stone. I want them to have fun and make memories. I do it so that I'm not the bitter barren lady who won't put up lights. If we don't get pregnant this cycle then this will be Holiday Season number 5 we've been through while TTC.
OK, I didn't mean for this to turn into a whiny post, sorry. I'll try harder next time to lighten things up a bit!