Happy New Year

2009 is quickly coming to an end and I'm very excited to ring in 2010. We had a little party here for all the day care kids--pizza, cupcakes, fireworks. It was a lot of fun and 4 of them are still here for a New Year's Eve slumber party. I expect they will all be out long before midnight. The way I'm feeling right now I'll probably be out before midnight.
My nephew, Zack, cut his foot on a piece of glass yesterday and had to get stitches. He's staying with us for it to heal up a bit and he can't walk on his foot for a couple days. He's too young for crutches or anything like that so I just carry him where he wants to be.
Well, this obligatory NYE post has no Earth-shattering revelations or realizations. I'm looking forward to 2010 because we will be bringing home our baby. I'm glad 2009 is over because it feels like a closure to trying to conceive.
On the baby note, B went to the Dr on Tuesday, heartbeat was 124 when babe was resting and 140 when they poked at him/her to move around. B has lost 2 lbs, but everything else looks good. Monday is the big ultrasound day!! She's 31w2d today.

Happy New Year!!

Gingerbread Houses

Yesterday the daycare kids and I made Gingerbread Houses. We were inspired by Chari over at Take Time To Smell The Rose. We took a few shortcuts though. For example, I didn't make and bake gingerbread, instead I bought graham crackers and cut them into shape. It was pretty easy; it takes 4 whole crackers for each mini house. 1 for each end---you cut the top to a point like little gables, then break the other 2 graham crackers in half--2 halves for the sides and 2 for the roof. Then we used royal icing to glue it all together. I'd never made royal icing before but it was so easy and inexpensive: 3 eggwhites, 1/2tsp cream of tartar, and 1 pound of powdered sugar. Easy peasy!

Since they were mini houses we used sturdy paper plates instead of covered cardboard. After letting them set a little it was time to decorate! We had green and red colored sugar, peppermint and spearmint candies, gummi fruit, blue sprinkles, multi-colored sprinkles. We just used what was on hand.

We all had a really good time. The kids were all very proud of their houses and enjoyed showing their parents. And of course, the finished houses! From top to bottom, left to right: Joshua's house-age 5, Isaac's house--age 4, Lindsay's house--age 10, my house, Zachary's house--age 4. This is very likely to become a tradition at our house.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

It's been a while

Things are going great on the adoption front. B had a Dr's appointment on Dec. 1 and then again on Dec. 15th. I didn't get to go to the one on the 15th because I had a horrible stomach virus. I tried to get up and go and just couldn't. Mark and my sister went and they called me when it was about time to hear the heartbeat and held up the cell phone. Best sound of my life! I cried a little. Good strong heartbeat at 138-142. They moved the due date back a little to March 2nd. The baby won't move for me. When I put my hand on her belly he/she stops moving. But my sister got to feel it move.
My friend Vanessa, my mom, and my sister-in-law threw me a baby shower on Dec. 5th. We thought if we had it early in Dec. we could avoid the snow, well, it snowed. So not many people came but it was very nice anyway. I got most everything I need and since there weren't many people there I called Mark to come over and some of then other men followed.
We got another big snow last night. Most people don't have power and it's looking like some may have no power til Christmas Day. We are the lucky ones, still have power, TV, phone, Internet. Well, I must go and get some more laundry done.

Hurry up and wait

The nursery is painted, the new carpet is laid, we've got bottles and diapers and all those other baby essentials. Now, we wait. We've been expecting the baby for 3 months now and we still have about 4 more to go. I've always considered myself a patient person but this wait might just be the hardest of my life. I love the baby's nursery. I'll have to post some pics of it. It's just exactly the way I always imagined it with the very pale yellow walls--the paint color is called Warm Summer, this crib from JC Penney, freshly painted dresser, and a nice new rocker recliner. At first I wanted a pretty wooden rocking chair but the more I thought about it a rocker recliner made more sense because after I'm finished with it in the baby's room we can move it out into the family room and I figure there will be times I'll end up sleeping sitting up with baby so a recliner just sounded better. We don't have a lot of clothes yet since we don't know if it's a boy or girl. We still need a lot of little things too like a baby monitor, bouncy seat, high chair, swing, pack n' play, sheets, etc. My mom, sister-in-law Tonja, and best friend Vanessa are planning a baby shower for me. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family.

From shorts to scarves overnight

Last week we were wearing shorts and t-shirts. Today I wore jeans, sweatshirt, winter coat, and gloves. Typically we get a nice dose of 60 degree fall weather. Something has gone wrong this year it went from hot and humid to frigid. Oh well, the weather has pushed us indoors and there is always something that needs done indoors. We started painting the baby's room this evening, 1 more coat of paint should do it. I want to go this weekend and order new carpet for the house so I've been cleaning out closets and de-cluttering. I've sold some stuff on ebay and trying to sell on diaperswappers--so far not successfully. EM is still doing well. I still feel zoned out in my own little getting-ready-for-baby world. And I'm lovin' it!
Did anyone watch 18 kids and counting last night? I'm so happy for Anna and Josh and their new baby girl. And I'm very pleased to see she had a smooth homebirth. Homebirth is something I always wanted to do. Since they named their first baby Mackynzie I wonder if their future children will also have M names.

Happily Domestic is hosting a Cloth Diaper Giveaway Week

Happily Domestic is hosting a really great event on her blog. She's having a cloth diaper giveaway week! Head on over to her blog to learn all about it.

http://

Too soon for motherly instincts???

EM--expectant mom, felt the baby move about a week ago. When I found out I was so happy, this is such a big milestone. About 2 weeks ago we all met up unexpectedly and EM's baby bump is still growing nicely. Whenever we see her or talk to her I have these strange feelings, it feels like I almost want to mother her. If she says she's been craving something--mostly sweets by the way--then I feel I must get it. If she's tired I just want to do anything for her so she can rest. Of course she's carrying a baby that I am hoping and planning to raise, but it's more than that. She's in such a hard place, she's been through so much for such a young age. But it's not pity. Anyway, I can't really explain it.

In other news, my best friend Vanessa had gastric bypass surgery on Sept. 14th. I spent the night before surgery with her and it was like being a teenager again. Now the surgery is done, and my best friend is hurting. She's in pain. And I don't know what to do for her. There were some complications during surgery, there was an air leak somewhere in her pouch or intestines and they had to patch it. She came home with 2 drain tubes. The doctor told her no more pain pills but she's in so much pain. Tears streaming down her cheeks she looked at me and said "I regret this." I simply don't know what to do for her but hug her.

Just life, nothing exciting

Things have been busy around here. I just got out of the hospital with pneumonia and bronchitis. It was my first time ever having to stay overnight in the hospital and I didn't care for it thank you very much. Feeling better and trying to play catch-up with the housework now. I haven't spoken with expectant mom in about a week and a half. I want to just talk to her constantly and ask her every little pregnancy detail but I know I can't. When we get on the phone I ask the "how are you feeling" and "how are the kids and hubby" questions but it always comes to a lull in the conversation and I start feeling awkward and don't know what to say or talk about. I need some non-pregnancy/baby related things to talk about. I've never been a very socially outgoing person. I've still been picking up baby items here and there, just odd pieces that happen to be on sale or really good discount. My mom, sister, and best friend have started planning a baby shower. Some of Mark's family have expressed their desire to wait til after the baby is born to buy gifts and I'm totally fine with that. I don't even care if the baby doesn't get any gifts and I just want him or her to know that we were planning before he/she got here and the whole family loves him/her. Since we are looking at a cold wintry birth then I don't think I want a lot of people coming in soon after to bring gifts and see the baby. It will be flu season, RSV, colds, etc. I just think having a shower before Baby D gets here makes more sense. I'm a planner, I always have been. I like having things ready. I would just feel better knowing that everything is bought and clean and put away before the baby comes.
Other than that life is still going on. We're trying to get our firewood in for the winter and just get things outside stored away.

Baby bump

I saw expectant mom on Sunday and she's got a little baby bump. It's so cute.
I bought a cradle at a yard sale for $10 and it's originally $175 and it's in excellent condition. Only used a couple times, and she gave me the bumper pads and sheet to go with it. She said her toddler keeps climbing it and she's afraid she'll get hurt. I was super excited to find such a great deal.
We've been remodeling the bathroom, that was a job. New cabinets, sink, flooring, painted, etc. It looks pretty good but I'm not sure about the paint color. It's called string bean and it's a bit darker than the swatch. But it feels good to be getting things done. Next I want to start working on the baby's nursery. I think I want the walls a pale yellow and Baby Looney Tunes wallpaper border and decor. I'm going with white crib and changing table.
We are still discussing baby names. For a girl Sydney, Savannah, and Elizabeth top the list. And for a boy Liam, Landon, and William. We can't agree and still have no middle names picked out.

Gro Baby!

I've been researching cloth diapers online and I think I may have found the ones I want. They are Gro Baby diapers! They are good from newborn to toddler so no need to buy different diapers for different sizes. I just LOVE the colors they come in, especially the green. The soaker pads are organic cotton and the snaps are guaranteed for life. I really like the looks of this diaper and I really want to try it out. Take a look at their site, http://www.thenaturalbabyco.com/grobaby%E2%84%A2-ic-11_16.html

So far so good

Well, the lawyer meeting went amazingly well. Mark and I both really liked him. He answered all our questions and really put our minds at ease. I spoke with the husband last night and he seemed satisfied with all the lawyers answers. Basically we just get through the pregnancy and when the baby is born the lawyer sets things in motion. We can help out with direct pregnancy related expenses such as maternity clothes, doctor copays, vitamins, etc. A girl my sister works with brought a diaper bag full of baby stuff yesterday for me. It was so sweet, I cried. Our very first baby gift!
I've also started seriously looking into cloth diapers, it's overwhelming how many different options are out there. I need someone to help guide me through this. Any suggestions would be great.

Amazing how something so small can consume your whole life

I've spoken with the mom a couple of times since our initial meeting last week, and I've spoken with her husband as well. They are such nice people and they seem committed to this adoption. We meet with a lawyer first thing in the morning. I've got a long list of questions and I hope I can get everything I need answered in the short 30 minutes we have with him. I really hope his fees are reasonable. Expectant mom is soon to be in need of some maternity clothes and I don't know if I can help her get some or not, WV law isn't real clear about EXACTLY what the adoptive parents can and can't pay for. I've contacted 2 places about the home study, one wants a flat fee of $3,000, the other has the services broken down into a price list but total comes to a little over $2,100. People also keep telling me that a lot of social workers do home studies on the side as extra income, and I would be fine with that if I could just find someone to do it. I know it sounds like I'm only worried about the money but really that's not it. Each day is a roller coaster of emotions and right now my mind has just settled on money.
I bought 2 little outfits the other day and a stuffed giraffe that plays music. My head is telling me not to buy yet but my heart couldn't resist. I wonder if these emotions are similar to what it feels like when a woman finds out she's pregnant? I'm just filled with love, excitement, worry, and every other emotion all rolled into one. I want to tell everyone I see that I'm going to be a mom. I can't keep from thinking about it, yet I hate to aggravate everyone by talking about it nonstop. I can't focus on anything else. It really is amazing how this teensy tiny little baby consumes my every thought!

Adoption

We met with an expectant mother yesterday who is looking to place her baby for adoption. Near the end of the 1.5 hour meeting she said she wants us to raise her baby. I'm elated!! She has other small children and had healthy pregnancies each time. Rough estimated due date is late Feb/early March. She will be going to the doctor later in the week. This all feels so surreal. I don't know whether to worry, get excited, buy baby clothes, or what to do. Last night after I came home and shared the news with our family and friends I got in bed and wept. I'm so so so very happy. A baby, I'm going to be bringing a baby home early 2010. This all feels so right.
I am very aware that there could be setbacks, complications, or this could all slip away, but for now I'm optimistic. I'm excited!!!

I think I'm ready to get off the ride

I've been trying to make a decision about whether to continue seeing my RE. I just got my last refill of Metformin so I need to either call and make an appointment with him or call and let them know I'm stopping treatment/going on break. Each cycle of treatment I'm pretty grouchy, I gain a couple pounds because I'm an emotional eater, we spend more money we don't really have, and in the end it fails anyway. It's taken over 5 long years but I'm finally ready to just be a mom--one way or another. During our time trying to get pregnant I've dreamed of being pregnant, a baby shower, giving birth, breastfeeding, etc, now none of that matters--as much--and I'm just ready to be a mom, whether or not the child is biologically mine.
But either way I need to figure out about my metformin, I don't know if I need to keep taking it even if we stop TTC or should I go on birth control? I found a new OB/Gyn closer to home so I saw him last month for my pap smear and he was a total jackass! I tried to ask about stopping TTC and the met and he said "make another appt if you want to discuss that" I think it was just one of those times where we just clashed. I'll look for another ob/gyn for next years pap.
In other news, things are good. Mark is working a lot which makes for great paychecks. We had a big Fourth of July party with lots of friends and family, a little rain but great overall. We are both wanting to take a vacation in Sept but can't decided where to go or what to do..suggestions?

The Flu

Last Thursday evening I went to Zumba, came home, fixed dinner, watched Grey's Anatomy---Izzy and Alex got MARRIED!!! YAY!! I went to bed at 10PM. I thought it was awful cold in here but Mark was comfortable. Within 30minutes I was shaking uncontrollably, had 3 blankets piled on me, hmm...might be running a fever, yep 103. Take Tylenol, nothing. 2 hours later take Ibuprofen, nothing. I have to get up the next morning at 7am with absolutely no sleep, still running a fever. Daycare kids get here, give 'em cereal, can't hardly move or function anymore so I called the doc. After a long Dr's appt I find out I have the flu, type A. So after 2 nasal swabs I'm sent home with instructions to stay home, no visitors at all, for 7 days. They also sent a nasal swab to the state lab to check for h1n1, haven't heard anything so I guess it was negative. Today I'm finally feeling like I'm back on Earth again. I"m telling ya, it was a miserable week, I WILL get a flu shot this year. I've got a lingering cough and still get fatigued easily but everything I read online says that's pretty normal.

Now, I'm playing catch up with the house work, Mark doesn't do anything when I'm sick, so today I'd finally had enough and we argued. Now he's in bed, I"m doing laundry. Guess that wasn't a really productive argument then, huh? Hope everyone out there in blog land is feeling good and flu-free!!

Zumba! Zumba!

I just got home from my very first Zumba class! Actually it was my very first exercise class of any kind. Surprisingly, I liked it. But I must confess, I'm so uncoordinated. I was always a move behind the instructor or I could get my feet to match hers and my hands would be doing their own thing. Oh well, the important thing is to keep moving, right? In early April I decided enough was enough and I was ready to drop a few pounds. I set a mini-goal of being down 15lbs by Marks and my 5th wedding anniversary, May 29th. So far down 9.5. So I've got a little more than 3 weeks to drop five and a half more pounds. I hope Zumba does the trick. My close friend, Vanessa, and I have been walking each evening and tonight we bit the bullet and zumbaed-or is it zummed, zumba'd--anyway, I'd like to make it a regular part of my exercise routine.

Down, but what do you expect at 4 in the morning

It's 4:15AM and here I sit. I can't sleep. I'm feeling totally out of control in the TTC realm. No meds, other than metformin, no temps, no charts, no period, no opks. Nothing. I'm going to try to drop a few pounds then go back to my RE, but in the meantime I feel like I"m not doing anything to reach my goal of being a mom. M's working nights lately so it's thrown off my sleeping schedule. I stumbled across an infertility blog and was reading entries from 07 and 08, I'm relating to a lot of what this woman is going through, then I go to the most recent post--pics of her twin newborns. I know that this should give me hope, but I guess I'm a terrible person, because hope is not where my mind went. God, when is it going to be my turn? Ever?
If I just knew one way or the other--keep trying one day it will happen, or let it go you're barren for life--then I really think I could deal with all this. I'm in one of those funks where everyone around me seems to be having babies, adopting babies, etc, etc, and my life is at a stand-still.
Sorry this is such a downer post.

She's here

My great-niece, Natalee Michelle, was born today at 4:22pm. She weighed 6lbs 6oz and was a little over 18inches long. She's just so adorable.

I'm gonna be an aunt again soon!!

I just got the call about an hour ago that my niece, Dina, is being admitted to the hospital. She was 3cm dilated and some indications that her water may have broke last night. Everyone is so excited to meet this new addition. If you are the praying type, then please say a prayer for mom and baby.

It's beginning to look a lot like spring

The weather has been absolutely beautiful for the past few days. We have been outside enjoying the sunshine. I pruned the rose bushes, started cleaning up the yard, bought some seeds. And most importantly we plowed up the ground for 2 gardens. We have decided to plant quite a bit this year: potatoes, beets, green beans, cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, lettuce, onions, and maybe corn. I'm not a huge fan of dealing with the corn. Sunday we went ahead and planted some iceberg lettuce seed. I'd really like to can some things this year so next on the to-do list is cleaning out the building where all the canning supplies are. This evening the plans include cleaning up the back fenced lot where our dog Jack lives, he's still a pup and chews up everything so there's lots of torn up bits to pick up.

Another Drawing

Win a free Bumgenius 3.0 Diaper! This is a valuable All-In-One cloth diaper that you can use for yourself or give as a gift to someone expecting a baby! Go check out Hot Belly Mama's Blog for details on how to win this wonderful All In One Cloth Diaper. Hot Belly Mama will announce the winner on March 30th, after her 30th birthday!
Here is the direct link to her blog:
http://hotbellymama.blogspot.com/
Good luck!

Happy Almost Birthday to ME!

I'm getting over a head cold and hoping to feel tip top by the weekend. Tomorrow is my birthday, I'll be 27. Wow, where does the time go? I can remember very few of my birthdays over the years, the most memorable was when I turned 11. I had my first real party at the roller skating rink. Troll dolls were just so cool at the time so I had to have a troll cake with hot pink hair. Ahh, memories.
Mark took a few days vacation this week and he's been home with me, it's been so nice. No idea what the plans are for the weekend, I just hope to feel better.
As for things on the TTC front, I've got another failed cycle under my belt. Currently on day 6 of this cycle, unmedicated so we'll see what happens. Last month fertilityfriend said I didn't O but I had a very normal cycle length and a slight thermal shift, I think I did O. I'm out of RX for Femara so Mark and I are discussing what to do next.

My first quilt

Some pics of my very first quilt. It took me 1 day to finish, about 10hrs total work time. It's a baby quilt, about 52x52 inches. It's for my great niece, Natalee, due sometime in March. Dina is doing Natalee's nursery in Trend Lab Blossoms So that was the inspiration for the colors of the quilt.

And diagonally. The top was very easy to make, the quilting wasn't too bad. I'm a bit slow sewing still, I hope that will improve with time. But the binding on the edges was a real beast. I've got to really practice binding before I make the next quilt.

And the back, it was a very soft pink fabric.

Who doesn't love a give-away?

Britt over at it's an art, not a science, is giving away one of her beautiful hand-made aprons. You should stop by and leave her a comment and enter into the drawing. I really think the give-aways are a great idea and I've been seeing more and more lately. Maybe I'll have to try something soon...but I don't think I've got enough readers yet..comments anyone? :)

Not very clever at this title thing!!

I admit it, I'm not a very good blogger. I like to read other peoples' blogs more than I like to write in my own blog.
Ok, time to play catch-up. Holidays went, not exceedingly well, but I got through. Glad we don't have to think about it again for a while! Still trying to get pregnant, like the little engine that could: I think I can, I think I can! On a Femara cycle now.
I've been trying my hand at quilting. I made a baby quilt for my niece, well, it turned out to be a pretty big baby quilt 54X54. I think it turned out pretty well. I'll put up some pics soon. I went to the baby shower this past Saturday. The week prior was filled with lots of worry, tears, indecision, and finally I woke up Saturday morning and just sort of went. I felt numb almost. Mommy-to-be opened gifts, I stared out the window and OOOO'd and AHHHH'd in the right places, we played the mandatory party games, ate cake, then everyone went home. I had so much more fun after everyone had gone home. I played with my niece, Kinzie, she's 2, and we had a blast. Then babe-in-belly was moving so mom, Dina, asked if I wanted to feel. I've felt babies move inside before but always just a quick wriggle or punch. This was so different. Dina had her shirt up and I could see the little creature wiggling all over the place. She told me where to put my hands to feel the best and it was just an awesome feeling. I know, I know, most of you have felt babies move, it happens everyday, but it was just the coolest thing I've ever felt. I thought for sure that this would put me over the top emotionally, but no, it was fine. Just total excitement to be feeling baby Natalee swimming under my hands like that. I would gently press and she would quickly swat me away. Just too cool.
Mark is good, a bit worried about his job, but who isn't these days? Overall, doing good, still alive. I plan to write at least once a week from now on.